Untrammeled Spaces


Journal Entry: February 16, 2018 Capitol Reef (Unedited from entry)

Desert cliffs in front. Mountain Peaks behind.

Desert cliffs in front. Mountain Peaks behind.

This is what I love. To be on some strange 4x4 road, overgrown with grasses, searching out a place to rest my head for the night. I walked through the desert rock abyss until 4:30pm, the sun drifting behind the sandstone. I am out here all alone, not a soul around, and no where in sight to camp for the night. I jump in my car with just little nerves fluttering within. Will I find the place, that idealistic, magical place that is away from others, feels secure, and has a view for dinner and coffee? I lucked out today. Happened upon some very old BLM road and went for it. the road hardly visible to the naked eye, left over tracks from long ago. The sun setting quickly behind me, I gun it and search for any small clearing. I see nothing for five minute, ten minutes, and then fifteen minutes I find it -- one small block of sandstone unearthed at an arroyo. The perfect size for my car and I to slide into (without crushing any crypto!).


I am quite comfortable alone in the wilderness and I get nervous. It's funny to reflect that I was just stopping any movement every time I heard a sound. I don't get the jitters about mountain lions or critters but about people. I keep listening for noises - is that a car? I stop moving, silence. No, it is just a plane, high overhead. There are a lot of planes. Taking in my surroundings, I remember I am safe, far from much of anything, and I breathe as I sit to take in the full sunset. So, my nerves are there and that’s one of the many reasons I love doing this. To stretch my comfort, my limits. To get a little scared and feel that thrill of the blood pumping through my veins. 

I sit here in silence. Not even a bird singing, just the sound of my puffy swaying on the page as I write. It’s... well it’s indescribable. The only place I can find this peace (once my unnecessary nerves subside) is in the wild, be it car camping on BLM land or walking deep into wilderness. This is what I am. This view. The rocks. The silence. The indescribable feeling.

This feeling brings me back to what I am meant to do, to connect people (myself included) deeper to themselves, one another, and the natural world, for the sake of protecting these places, these experiences. It is rooted in everything I do, from my career, to adventure, to who I spend time with. It’s why I support people to connect deeper to themselves by connecting deeper with the natural world. It is about loving these special places and protecting them in the long run. It's these wild places, be it the desert, plains, oceans, or the mountains, that we, yes we, can all see, hear, taste, smell and touch the wonders of ourselves and the world around us. And I hope it gives others what it gives me, an overwhelming sense of who I truly am and what I want to fight for. 

[What do you want to fight for?]